And so it begins...

As my 30th birthday approached, I declared that I was going to put together a 30th year cruise, inviting all family and friends (pay your own way of course, because goodness knows I couldn't afford it!)  And so my 30th came and went and so did life.  and.....well.....we never took a cruise.

Fast forward 10 years.  Where has life taken me? Oh so many places!  Back to live in Ohio near my family, a 180 degree career change, new friends made, old friends lost, major life impacting change with the unexpected loss of my dad, love, marriage, another career move and who would've thought......as I was getting a massage one day, face down smooshed in that weird donut face pillow (that never fits me right and leaves me with weird wrinkles as if I've been asleep for 100 years!), "oh.my.goodness.  I'm getting ready to start LIVING in my fortieth year of life.

WWWHHHHAAAATTT????

yep.  it was a true statement.  (or a true thought.  I don't think I said it out loud).

And then the next thought, right behind it, as if the first thought had slammed on it's brakes unexpectedly as they were racing around my brain playing chase, and BAM!  a read end collision.  SO WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO SPANN?  IS THIS THE LIFE YOU THOUGHT YOU'D HAVE?  IS THIS WHO YOU WANT TO BE?  HAVE YOU DONE ALL THE THINGS YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DO?  SAY?  EXPERIENCE?  

bam!  crash!  crunch!

so much for enjoying  a massage.  

So here I am.  Today, I've entered my fortieth year of living!  (shout out to my young-at-heart-doesn't-look-her-age mama.  HER BABY IS IN HER FORTIETH YEAR!!!!)

And I've decided, I'm going to live deliberately.  Sounds heavy.  Sounds so isolated and intentional and life changing.  here's to hoping.  

it also means, it's going to be fun!

I've been making a list of things I'm going to do.be.try.risk.change.adopt.create.embrace (I've posted it here  The LIST).  And I'm going to blog about it.  (And this is where in my mind I slowly build thousands, nay, millions of followers.  I learn what a widget is.  I start getting offers to advertise on my cleverly named blog.  I begin blogging as a guest blogger.  Many, many people link to my blog.  I quit my day job.  I write in my pajamas with a fresh cup of coffee at my side........ahhh, sigh.).  Ok, that was my initial dream of course.  Who knows, it could happen.  But likely not.  

Now after thinking and planning about this blog for about a month, I'm hoping it's just a good place for me to record and reflect on this blessed life.

We've only got one you know!